Afternoon Bloggers,
So upon the request of quite a few people i thought i would take a moment out of my busy schedule (Dissertation, Work and of course managing Chelsea are keeping me very busy!!) and write to all my lovely followers.
It has been quite some time since we last spoke, since my rant which i apologise for to those who i may have hurt, but my reasons were pure. I have since become single, turned 22 and kicked the first semester of final year's ass :) so there have been some ups and downs!! However today i think it's time to reflect, to consider what we have, and think of those who have not.
Those who truly know me, the real me, know me to be among other things a people person. If i were to describe myself in one sentence it would have to be a lanky, ginger, happless romantic who surrounds himself with people and loves to have the attention every now and again ;). Now there may be those who dissagree, there may even be those who wholy agree. However, this is how i see me. Ambitious and driven perhaps, charming and witty maybe, but the above sentence is the core of me, without the facades, without illusions, me, stripped.
But there are times, even for me who many consider to be a 'people person', where i find myself sat on my bed, staring at my computer screen, missing people, and being as a whole, pretty lonely. My parents are just on the end of a telephone line as are other family members including my older sister, whilst my younger sister resides a mere 20 minute walk away. Facebook tells me i have 984 friends, probably around a third of whom are also living in Newcastle, so loneliness should be a million miles away.
However, why do i find myself feeling that way at times? Perhaps it is because i, like many others, take what i have for granted. The people we are closest to we often treat poorly, and we forget how lucky we are to have them around us. Recently a poor girl from my hometown of Doncaster was murdered, she was by herself in a park after being stabbed on her way to meet her friends. She herself had to ring the police and report the crime, she soon died of the fatal wounds. Do i deserve to allow myself to feel lonely when i am fortunate enough to have a world of friends and family so close?
The answer is no, I would be stupid to truly consider myself alone, Casey was alone when she was stabbed, the poor girl was alone in the middle of a park as she was cruely taken away from her friends and family.
I turned 22 exactly a month ago, I spent a long weekend celebrating turning old and wrinkly with some of the best people around. My friends helped me to get plastered beyond belief. In the process i got lamped by a girl, which gave me a beautiful black lip! Spilt numourous drinks on lovely new clothing, wandered to previously unknown parts of both my drunken states and Newcastle! And not forgetting of course, managed to keep drinking beyond those days and make myself lovely and ill!!
I truly believe there can be moments, when we are away from family, when we are bored, that our minds can wander, wander off into devoid scenarios, where it feels we have nothing to do, and nobody to do it with. However, it is these times that i say to you, take those pensive moments and put them to good use. Think about those less fortunate; the homeless people with nowhere to live. The mothers in Africa who have to watch their children die because they have no money for healthcare. The soldiers dying in hospitals thousands of miles for home protecting our freedom, and even Casey, as she lie there in Doncaster, fighting for her life, with nobody there to tell her it was going to be alright. I ask you, use these solitary moments of reflection to remember those we have lost, and those who sit alone, with nothing and no-one, for it is these people who are truly lonely, you, well you are just having a bad day.
Chin Up.
Sunday, 19 February 2012
Thursday, 1 December 2011
Unnecessary Politics: The Rise And Fall Of A Dreamer
Three months ago the ever enthisiastic, smiley and happy Mathew Clarke sat down with the ever majestic Sean 'Pistol' Potter to be interviewed about Clarke's upcoming directorial debut with PROJECT X. Today you would be pushed to find similarities between Clarke of today and of three months before. Today we see a sullen face, a broken man, beaten down and ready to give in.
During the interview Clarke was thrilled to be asked about his love for Musical theatre and his excitement at the opportunity that had come his way, auditions were underway and everything was going swimmingly. You could be forgiven for assuming this was to be a great production, and that Clarke's enthusiasm would drive it home.
But things never go to plan do they, there are always bumps in the road, some bigger than others... some egos bigger than others. The cast grew, the cast shrunk, enthusiasm picked up and dropped off, but with a production, these things happen.
Clarke couldn't have asked to work with a better group of people, he ensured he had the best people around him to allow it to run smoothly and be a good show. He fixed it so the people with the right expertise looked over the right parts of the show, and was happy with the way the show was coming along. Numbers were dished out, ideas batted around, and the rehearsals set in motion.
If you could have heard some of the singers, soloist supremos, smashing numbers from hit musicals that have been performed on the most famous stages of the world, it was a great formula for a great show. So where did it all go wrong?
Like building a house, if the foundations arent there, the house will fall down, but if the foundations are there, but are bad, rotten foundations, then the house will collapse, the building will fall, and all the work that went into it, the design and dreams will dissapear, and die in a pile of rubble.
As well as building a house, building a structure, an organisation, even a family, needs the same solid foundations, sadly, those were overlooked, a genuine oversight in this case, a miscalculation, at first seemingly small, that festered and finally brought down the house.
The idea was big, the idea was ambitious, the idea was shot down. Idea becoming ideas week by week, the enthusiasm was sucked out by the fun police, the house began to wobble. The show became little more than a group of numbers thrown together in haste. The talent would still shine, but the backbone, the heart of the show had been ripped out and broken.
Bit by bit Clarke would be beaten down, belittled and feel downheartened as the pesimistic vultures started to circle. He still maintained hope, he still clung on in hope. The cast were still the same talented bunch, the same smiley faces, the same undoubtable effort, who were to receive the same lack of thanks.
But hey, work was done and they moved on, struggling in an uphill battle towards the show, as the weeks passed, and the show drew closer, the negative views started to grind the upbeat Clarke, then the shit hit the fan. A stupid, unproffessional mistake from Clarke saw the foundations begin to crumble, people began to talk, people began to bitch, and although people make mistakes, perhaps not all are forgiven.
Then something strange happened, a glimmer, a shining light of positivity, a mere 5 days till the show, and the majority of the group numbers were ready, the solos sounded good and attitudes were on the up, the words 'Im confident it will be a great show' were uttered, but uttered in hypocrisy, and the term familiarity breeds contempt springs to mind.
Like Julius Caeser Clarke was destined to fall, as the haters drew ever closer, and their plots were set in motion, the foundations began to crumble, and the house began to fall, now, like Caeser was, Clarke is left, alone, stabbed in the back from nowhere.
When did postivity leave the world, when did people become okay with belittling the dreams of others, and screwing over their friends? Come March, come 'Clarke's show' in which he will not be, you can understand if Clarke is nowhere to be seen, hoping for the fall of what could be described as the third reich. They call it a society, they claim it to be a democracy, their regime remains, their arses comfy on their much needed large thrones.
During the interview Clarke was thrilled to be asked about his love for Musical theatre and his excitement at the opportunity that had come his way, auditions were underway and everything was going swimmingly. You could be forgiven for assuming this was to be a great production, and that Clarke's enthusiasm would drive it home.
But things never go to plan do they, there are always bumps in the road, some bigger than others... some egos bigger than others. The cast grew, the cast shrunk, enthusiasm picked up and dropped off, but with a production, these things happen.
Clarke couldn't have asked to work with a better group of people, he ensured he had the best people around him to allow it to run smoothly and be a good show. He fixed it so the people with the right expertise looked over the right parts of the show, and was happy with the way the show was coming along. Numbers were dished out, ideas batted around, and the rehearsals set in motion.
If you could have heard some of the singers, soloist supremos, smashing numbers from hit musicals that have been performed on the most famous stages of the world, it was a great formula for a great show. So where did it all go wrong?
Like building a house, if the foundations arent there, the house will fall down, but if the foundations are there, but are bad, rotten foundations, then the house will collapse, the building will fall, and all the work that went into it, the design and dreams will dissapear, and die in a pile of rubble.
As well as building a house, building a structure, an organisation, even a family, needs the same solid foundations, sadly, those were overlooked, a genuine oversight in this case, a miscalculation, at first seemingly small, that festered and finally brought down the house.
The idea was big, the idea was ambitious, the idea was shot down. Idea becoming ideas week by week, the enthusiasm was sucked out by the fun police, the house began to wobble. The show became little more than a group of numbers thrown together in haste. The talent would still shine, but the backbone, the heart of the show had been ripped out and broken.
Bit by bit Clarke would be beaten down, belittled and feel downheartened as the pesimistic vultures started to circle. He still maintained hope, he still clung on in hope. The cast were still the same talented bunch, the same smiley faces, the same undoubtable effort, who were to receive the same lack of thanks.
But hey, work was done and they moved on, struggling in an uphill battle towards the show, as the weeks passed, and the show drew closer, the negative views started to grind the upbeat Clarke, then the shit hit the fan. A stupid, unproffessional mistake from Clarke saw the foundations begin to crumble, people began to talk, people began to bitch, and although people make mistakes, perhaps not all are forgiven.
Then something strange happened, a glimmer, a shining light of positivity, a mere 5 days till the show, and the majority of the group numbers were ready, the solos sounded good and attitudes were on the up, the words 'Im confident it will be a great show' were uttered, but uttered in hypocrisy, and the term familiarity breeds contempt springs to mind.
Like Julius Caeser Clarke was destined to fall, as the haters drew ever closer, and their plots were set in motion, the foundations began to crumble, and the house began to fall, now, like Caeser was, Clarke is left, alone, stabbed in the back from nowhere.
When did postivity leave the world, when did people become okay with belittling the dreams of others, and screwing over their friends? Come March, come 'Clarke's show' in which he will not be, you can understand if Clarke is nowhere to be seen, hoping for the fall of what could be described as the third reich. They call it a society, they claim it to be a democracy, their regime remains, their arses comfy on their much needed large thrones.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)