Matty Clarke's photostream

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The Most Likely To...

Good evening bloggers... It's been a while ;)

Acknowledgements

I used to think I had forever to know what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be, and who I wanted to be with. Now I sit here, 4 days from handing in the single most important piece of work I have ever had to do, and under two months from having finished my university life. I look around me and think about what I have achieved, and I immediately know that I have achieved nothing more important than meeting the most amazing people.

Often people ask me what's next? And I am confident in answering that I am not all that sure at the moment. I have a dream of living in New York, of being accepted onto the Mountbatten Programme, and of living my life how I wish to. Do I have a plan B? At the moment I do not, I wish I did, but I simply know not what I want to do. I am indecisive. I feel incomplete. I have not yet reached the point in my life where I can openly say I am ready to move on from this life, a life that revolves around socialising, around friendships and close bonds. I dare not cut the ties, for I wish not for the bridges to fall.

They say you lose touch with something like 90% of the people you meet across your academic life, I will forever try to prove this wrong. I have been studying in higher education now for six years if you include sixth form, and I find it one of the easiest things when I say, I regret nothing. Especially not meeting all the people I have. Sure I have not got along with everyone, I mean come on, I’m ginger, I’m a fiery git! But I would not change my situation for anything else in the world, I would not give up the troubles and trials I have met to have coated through. I would not change the hard work and late nights for a free ride. And I most certainly would have not change the break-ups and make-ups for a care-free life, for every single experience, good or bad, has led to me being who I am right here right now. And of myself, I could not be prouder.

I have met, loved and even lost some of the greatest, smartest, funniest and, without a doubt, craziest characters possible, and this blog is a dedication to all those, across four fantastic years of university. I thank you all for your friendship and your love. I hope this supplies even just a small taste of the warm, kind, humorous and perfect feeling that you have given me. Lets get this show started.

The 'Most Likely To' Awards

The nominations for 'Most Likely To... Become World Famous' Are...

• James Walsh – For his dazzling star studded exploits on YouTube
• Katie Bilton – For solving the Italian economic crisis... with her vagina
• Craig Morrison – For taking 'Brits Abroad' to a whole other level
• Chloe Dougan – For her starring role in Dave hit show Woman vs Food

And the winner is... for their unwitting brilliance and majestic naivity, James Walsh. James can be currently found coaching at The Sheffield Eagles rugby team supposedly learning some new moves for a few videos he, 'has in mind'.

The nominations for 'Most Likely To... Receive a Knighthood Are...

• Mathew J Evans – For his services to Trolling
• Laura Payne – For her services to the Gin industry
• Kate Newman – For her service to Cleavage
• Ash Milns – For his services to Snaking
• Edd Cook – For his services to Truancy
• Scott Lindsay – For his services to Cointreau

And the winner is, for their sheer, shameless and dedicated lifelong slog, Edd Cook. Edd can be currently found playing Xbox with his two cats when he should be doing his dissertation.

The nominations for 'Most Likely To... Shop Until They Drop' Are...

• Katy Snowdon – With a glass of wine in hand as time passes her by
• Lisa Brown – With her pet Chihuahua Alfie in close tow
• Ash Milns – Who knew one guy could shop online so much
• Sam Maloney – For his sheer time taken to do any medial task

And the winner is, for their brutal misuse of government funding, and their open admittance that they, 'probably didn't need that', Ashley Milns. Ash can currently be found hiding from the outside world in his student house as his dissertation swallows him whole.

The nominations for 'Most Likely to... Go Out In a Blaze of Alcohol Fuelled Glory' Are...

• Sean Potter – Whether it be doing the robot or AVBombing this boy puts 'em back
• Tori Clarke – Be it on the vodkas at family Xmas or Jaeger with the wife
• Matty Stevens – Red Wine, Vodka, Mojitos or just plain beer, this Turk nows how to roll
• Mathew Clarke – AVB shouldn’t drink so much, maybe its why he lost his job
• James Mellor – Swallows alcohol like a fish in the sea. Ungodly and unashamed.

And the winner is. Due to pure dedication to the cause over an extended period of time, Matty Stevens. Xavi as he is known to his closests, can be found in his bed, sleeping off the days pints.

The nominations for 'Most Likely to... Be Arrested For Public Disorder' Are...

• Sean Potter – For the harassment of innocent rabbits
• Samantha Robinson – For the soliciting of drunken texts
• Thomas Melody – For indecent exposure
• Simon Rogers – For harassment of innocent bystanders
• Mathew J Evans – For Trolling all over Facebook
• Joe Marriot – Harassment by Draw Something

And the winner is, due to an insane amount of buzz gained in the run up to these awards, Mathew J Evans. Matty can currently be found masturbating into a trainer sock whilst eating calzone.

The nominations for 'Most Likely to... Become a Reality TV Star' Are...

• James Walsh – Rude Tube
• Tom Melody – Inside the Mind of a Serial Killer
• Simon Rogers – At One With My Sheep
• Sam Maloney – Playing It Straight
• Chris Richards – Pimp My Ride Donx

And the winner is, because of how much I would love to see the show, Simon Rogers. Simon can currently be found in Hull regretting the day he chose to go to uni.

The nominations for 'Most Likely to... End a World War' Are...

• Sarah Bailey – With her 'intelligent reasoning'
• Lucy Robinson – With those smoky eyes
• Sophie Attari – With her great political nouse
• Sam Maloney – With his reliable raptor hands

And the winner is, because nobody can deny their delightful delayed bants and unawareness to all around, is Sam Maloney. Sam can be currently found in Northumbria Library, still unpacking his stuff from this morning.

The Nominations for 'Most Likely To... Break A World Record' Are...

• Kellie Westerman – For most over-achieving natural blonde
• Mike McPherson – For longest time taken to do hair
• Luke McMahon – Most refusals for nights out
• Katie Bilton – Most penis to surface area
• 'The Cadiz Crew' – For most alcohol consumed over the space of 2 weeks (Carnaval)

And the winner is, for the sheer amount of alcohol consumed during the fortnight of Carnaval, never mind the reminder of the time there, is the Cadiz Crew. They can now be found separated around the world all looking back with tears in their eyes.

The Nominations for 'Most Likely To... Run Away With ____' Are...

• Mairi Davies – Most Likely To Run Away With a Tractor
• Natasha Pitt – Most Likely To Run Away Without Anything To Her Name
• Kellie Westerman – Most Likely To Run Away With A Cutout Of Edward Cullen
• Ash Milns – Most Likely To Run Away With A Tied Up Mike McPherson
• Tom Melody – Most Likely To Run Away With A Bus Of Schoolchildren
• Kate Newman – Most Likely To Run Away With An Entire Sports Team
• Dave Smith – Most Likely To Run Away With His Shadow And A Can of Beer

And the winner is, for the pure fact it would probably happen, Ash Milns. Ash can currently be found in his room plotting the very plan outlined above.

The Nominations for 'Most Likely To... Run Their Own Explicit Company' Are...

• Kate Newman – Why Have Your Boobs When You Can Have Mine
• Ash Milns – I'll Fix Your Roof-Alin
• Sam Maloney – Raptor Hands Happy Endings
• Steph Chan – I'll Have a Number 69 With Boiled Rice Please

And the winner is, by a clear mile, and picking up their first award of the evening, Kate Newman. Kate can currently be found harassing sportsmen and saying dumbass things across Nottingham's night-scene

The Nominations for 'Most Likely To... Front A Criminal Organisation' Are...

• Sam Maloney – Thai Brides Go Wild
• Mairi Davies – Farmers Alliance
• Lucy Robinson – Delhi Belly
• James Walsh – Slapheads
• Tom Melody – His Own take on Kony's army
• Sean Potter – JD and Co...caine
• Joanna Burke – Shamrocks and Cider Army
• Steph Chan – 7 Dwarves

And the winner is, for the fear it instils in the world to have this gang running cities and even countries, Mairi Davies. Mairi can now be found rolling hay bails and driving tractors around Britain's countryside.

And finally, The most coveted prize of the evening follows;

The Nominations for 'Most Likely To... Succeed' Are...

Well there are no nominations for this one. It is simple. I need not think about it and nobody need debate it. You all will. No matter if you have been mentioned or not. Such as Geoff or Clodagh, James or James Tom, Tom or Tom, Oli or whoever. No fret, no worries. I have faith in us all, for this generation is the special, we are special. We will be great, not because of what we have achieved thus far, but for what we will achieve in the years to come because of what we have learnt from one another. So tomorrow, when you are freaking out over exams, assignments, dissertations or essays. Relax. Take a breath and look at those around you, and think of this. One day you will be successful, in whatever you do, you will be successful, be it a great parent, a rich businessman, a coveted novelist, a wily reporter or brilliant teacher, no matter what you do, you will be successful and it will not be from what you learnt in school, in lectures and in books, but because of what you learnt from one another. That is perhaps the greatest lesson you can learn.

Happy Blogging :)

Poems.

To Live But A Dream

Oh if i could live but a dream,
A thousands moments, a million seconds as one,
Drifting through lifes different scenery,
Landscapes and floating lightly through song.

To lead my life like directing a film,
To enhale the future and breathe in the past,
All so close, so near, so possible,
Yet all which vanishes, to be gone so fast.

I wish I could stay asleep for all of time,
Sailing on seas as vast as my imagination,
To wake is to die a little, to lose that I have created,
For now I must wait, watch and be patient.

Months go by, the weeks seem like years,
The pain of those lost in the tears on my pillow,
To know but for only eight hours we shall be together,
Great wars and great loves lost, a tough pill to swallow.

I fear I must leave them all behind,
Moving on in life within the limits of reality,
Living each day as twenty four long hours in time,
And change this world as my dream world i did so passionately.


Name In Lights

Fame and all fortune, your name up in lights,
The hassle the pain, all your secrecy dissapeared,
Each day turns into one long series of fights,
The crash as it all ends just as you'd feared.

Would it be harder to have it and lose it,
Or to not know it at all, not even a tad,
To live life with everyone knowing your shit,
Or to live as a nobody, is that really so bad?

To have all the wonder for simply one day,
And for every man and woman to scream your name,
Being known in every country, every city, everyway,
And then it's all gone and you're back to your same...

Old life on the dole, struggling as nothing but a shadow,
"Please give me a chance i'll bet ya i'll do"
Bit parts in your own imaginary life below,
"Please just don't give up on me, i'm a somebody"... somebody who?

I'll show them i'll make it, your parents said how,
But i'll work twice as hard and i'll pay my own way...
To Hollywood, to stardom if you'll allow,
But that big break still don't come and now all you say...

"Is I need fifty bucks for some crack, some sniff, some coke"...
"I'm good for the dough, you'll see i'll be a star",
Ten days later no money, and he's a big fucking bloke,
But you lost it, gave up, fameless and far...

From the home you once knew, the dream was too big,
Beat you down till your nothing, nothing to the Police,
Who look up at your hanging body, your big final gig,
Beat by the game, may they rest in peace.

Lonely Hearts

Afternoon Bloggers,

So upon the request of quite a few people i thought i would take a moment out of my busy schedule (Dissertation, Work and of course managing Chelsea are keeping me very busy!!) and write to all my lovely followers.

It has been quite some time since we last spoke, since my rant which i apologise for to those who i may have hurt, but my reasons were pure. I have since become single, turned 22 and kicked the first semester of final year's ass :) so there have been some ups and downs!! However today i think it's time to reflect, to consider what we have, and think of those who have not.

Those who truly know me, the real me, know me to be among other things a people person. If i were to describe myself in one sentence it would have to be a lanky, ginger, happless romantic who surrounds himself with people and loves to have the attention every now and again ;). Now there may be those who dissagree, there may even be those who wholy agree. However, this is how i see me. Ambitious and driven perhaps, charming and witty maybe, but the above sentence is the core of me, without the facades, without illusions, me, stripped.

But there are times, even for me who many consider to be a 'people person', where i find myself sat on my bed, staring at my computer screen, missing people, and being as a whole, pretty lonely. My parents are just on the end of a telephone line as are other family members including my older sister, whilst my younger sister resides a mere 20 minute walk away. Facebook tells me i have 984 friends, probably around a third of whom are also living in Newcastle, so loneliness should be a million miles away.

However, why do i find myself feeling that way at times? Perhaps it is because i, like many others, take what i have for granted. The people we are closest to we often treat poorly, and we forget how lucky we are to have them around us. Recently a poor girl from my hometown of Doncaster was murdered, she was by herself in a park after being stabbed on her way to meet her friends. She herself had to ring the police and report the crime, she soon died of the fatal wounds. Do i deserve to allow myself to feel lonely when i am fortunate enough to have a world of friends and family so close?

The answer is no, I would be stupid to truly consider myself alone, Casey was alone when she was stabbed, the poor girl was alone in the middle of a park as she was cruely taken away from her friends and family.

I turned 22 exactly a month ago, I spent a long weekend celebrating turning old and wrinkly with some of the best people around. My friends helped me to get plastered beyond belief. In the process i got lamped by a girl, which gave me a beautiful black lip! Spilt numourous drinks on lovely new clothing, wandered to previously unknown parts of both my drunken states and Newcastle! And not forgetting of course, managed to keep drinking beyond those days and make myself lovely and ill!!

I truly believe there can be moments, when we are away from family, when we are bored, that our minds can wander, wander off into devoid scenarios, where it feels we have nothing to do, and nobody to do it with. However, it is these times that i say to you, take those pensive moments and put them to good use. Think about those less fortunate; the homeless people with nowhere to live. The mothers in Africa who have to watch their children die because they have no money for healthcare. The soldiers dying in hospitals thousands of miles for home protecting our freedom, and even Casey, as she lie there in Doncaster, fighting for her life, with nobody there to tell her it was going to be alright. I ask you, use these solitary moments of reflection to remember those we have lost, and those who sit alone, with nothing and no-one, for it is these people who are truly lonely, you, well you are just having a bad day.

Chin Up.